Right Place Right time, maybe

Have you ever been in a crowded room and the speaker began speaking and you knew, because you could feel it in your heart that they were speaking directly to you whether they knew it or not.  These are the ways that we know that God is listening and paying attention in our lives.  I had the privilege to listen to a man named Manny Scott speak today.  He was one of the original Freedom Writers.  As I sat there listening in that gym full of people I felt him speaking to my soul like he and I were the only ones in the room.  At more than one point I could fear the tears well up in my eyes as he was telling me things that I needed so desperately to hear.
I love my job most of the time and things are not always perfect, but I don't think that I could work at a better school.  But I am constantly questioning if this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life and how much longer can I keep it up.  You may think that I am much to young for that.  At 29 years old this will be my 8th year in the classroom.  However if you have never taught or been this involved with so many young people you may not understand how easy it is to get burnt out and to feel defeated.  I may not always show it in a way that they can understand (because I truly am my fathers daughter), but these children become my babies even ones that I did not teach.  Their triumphs become my triumphs and their heartbreaks become my heartbreaks.  Sometimes with all of the demands that are being placed on us it is easier to just see them as a number, as a test score, but these are my babies.  And they come to me with so much hurt.
I don't know that I am good enough for them.  I don't know that I have it in me to be able to reach them and to be able to teach them the way that they need me to.  My husband says the fact that I even care about all of that says it all.  I am not sure.  Manny Scott inspires me to want to do better, to try harder.  The problem with wanting to do better is knowing that you are not good enough and that you are going to fail.  Then I read my devotional for tonight and it was about motherhood, but I think that its applicable to both.  The gist of the devotional is that I am not enough and I am never going to be as a mother or a teacher.  But I don't need to be.  Thats what God's there for, its not about our plan, its about His.
I am hoping and praying that I can keep this in mind when my new set of babies that I will get on Monday start to make me weary.  I also have to remember what Manny Scott told us today that even on our worst day some of us are still the best hope that some of these children have.