God's pursuit of me.

My devotion tonight was wonderful and it spoke directly to my heart, funny how they just seem to keep doing that.
It was about God pursuing us, and wooing us just like He did with the Israelites.  What I needed to hear pointed out is that this is not always going to be the wonderful moment that we think of when we think of someone being loved, the whispering of soft words.  Sometimes to love someone the best and to get them to the wonderful land of promise love is hard.  Just like the love of a parent for their child(ren).  It follows you it pursues you.  There are wonderful sweet tender moments and there are the moments of tough love where discipline has to play its part to making you the best person that you can be in order for you to go to where you want to be.  She points out that many of us are being called to "the wilderness" which is where God loved the Israelites before he brought them in to the promise land, then asked if that is a calling we are hear and are you afraid to go.  I know that God is doing big things in my life and in my heart I just don't know yet what those are, but as soon as I read those words I knew thats what was happening in my life.
I know that this is the journey that I am on. It is filled with some beautiful days, like today.  Today my husband and I along with some friends of ours baptized our three girls together.  It was a beautiful experience filled with so much love it was palpable.  Love from the families, the preacher, the congregation, and from God.  It was very special, no matter what mood my girls were in.  These are the moments where God is whispering his soft word to me, these are the moments where His pursuit of me is kind and beautiful.  There are other days like Friday where I end up wearing in a ball on the couch with my girls staring at me.  That day was so hard I just broke and I did not know what else to do.  Those are the days when love is hard.  It does not be that He loves me any less or that he has stopped pursuing me, what is means is he has something to teach me and this is something that cannot be learned the easy way (that or I was just too hard headed to get it that way).
The next time that my days are hard and I want to break I cannot promise you that I will remember in that moment that this is God's pursuit of me and it is all done out of love to get me to the wonderful place that he has for me.  But God is working on my heart changing it so that I can better deal with the situations in my life and He has big plans for me I will just have to wait and see what they are.