Bundle of Joy?

I love my girls more than I could ever imagine and there is nothing that I would rather be than a mother.  With that being said I have gone through some very difficult times in this journey with a good portion of it surrounding the birth of my oldest.  My first pregnancy was so easy.  I was the size of a house and my feet would swell up terribly but other than that it was easy (a fact I was not able to appreciate until I had my terrible second pregnancy).  She was due on a Sunday cinco de mayo.  She was also due five weeks before the end of the school year and you get six, so I took off the week before she was born.  Well I went to my regular weekly drs appointment on Tuesday, I was two days overdue.  The dr. started acting a little funny.  He called for an ultrasound and he said this was standard procedure for a baby past their due date just to make sure that they are handling everything ok.  Then he called me into his office, I knew then.  He told me that I had been leaking fluid for days (I think since Sunday looking back but didn't really notice because of all the gross stuff going on with pregnancy) and had little to no fluid left for the baby.  He told me I was to go straight across the to the hospital and they were admitting me now to induce me in the morning and they would try a couple of things this evening to help the induction go more smoothly.  I was at my appointment alone, so when I asked if I could at least go home and get my bag first and he told me no, thats when I first started to cry.  Then while waiting on the drs. office to straighten everything out with the hospital I tried calling my husbands cell phone while I knew he was at work.  He wouldn't answer.  Then I did what any self-respecting adult woman would do at this point.  I called my mom crying.  Eventually between the two of us my husband got informed and he and my mom headed up to see me.  Then I cried again as I walked scared and alone on the breezeway from the drs. office to the hospital to get admitted.  That night besides the anticipation went well.  Even with the small amount of fluid the baby was responding well, they tried a couple of things to help me dilate before the induction, and it was all pretty laid back.  Then at about 7 the next morning things started getting crazy.  They gave me pitocin.  Everyone says that piton contractions are so much worse than natural ones, but I wouldn't know because I was induced with both of my girls.  I was also having terrible back labor because we did not figure out for a long time that my hardheaded little girl had flipped herself sunny side up during the night.  Needless to say things got very real very fast and at one point my mom called my sister freaking out because I was crying and she got a speeding ticket while rushing to the hospital to wait for a long time.  They gave me some IV drugs to help with the pain because I think I was third in line to get an epidural, in made me loopy, but didn't touch my pain.  Then I got the epidural and things were better until my child started reversing stations.  She was going back up!.  This is when we figured out that she had flipped and my whale like self had to try to move to my side to try and get her to turn.  Well we only managed to get her body to turn halfway before she started crowning and they had to manually turn her before I could deliver the rest of her.  My epidural had completely worn off on one side and things weren't going well now.  They whisked my child away she was not crying and no one would tell me how she was doing.  I was bleeding profusely.  My daughter had her cord wrapped around her neck and even after tis removal she did not start breathing on her own, which no one told me.  They were able to stimulate her breathing and gave me a shot to help clot the blood just in time that I did not need a transfusion.  Then I got to hold her and everything was ok for now.    The first time I stood after delivery I left a trail of blood all the way from the bed to the bathroom and almost passed out on the way back.  I felt like no one wanted to give me time to bond with my own child I had to let everyone else do it.  About 26 hours after she was born we got to go home and I wasn't ready.  I ended up with a high fever and terrible back pains less than a week after she was born.  It turns out that I had gotten endometritis from leaking fluid for so long, and they threatened to put me back in the hospital if my fever did not go down in 24 hours.  The beginning with her was so hard.  She slept so poorly.  We tried 4 different formulas before we found the right one for her.  She had acid reflux, chronic ear infections, colic(where she would cry unconsolably for hours every night), eventually she developed asthma.  She was so sick for the first year and a half of her life that she never really wanted any one else to hold her.  All of our families were being pushy and needy and no one was taking our needs into consideration.  Did I also mention that I am married to a football coach and he told me I couldn't have a baby during football season so I had her in May, but as it turns out she was born during spring practice.  I also suffered from the baby blues for weeks.  I wouldn't trade any of it for the world now.  It was all worth it and it has affected us in ways to make us the people that we are now, but honestly at that point in my faith I don't know how I did it.  There were a lot of tears both mine and hers and I know that I didn't survive that without Him I guess I just wasn't ready to see him standing right there with me.