Perseverance and Hope

Romans 5:2-5 And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. In my bible reading last night I came across these verses and they spoke to my heart in such a deep way.  I thought that this was just God's way of saying He sees me and life's hard in a very general sense.  We have been studying God's providence in our church bible study and I had no idea I would see it in real life the very next day.  Now this wasn't a cataclysmic day by any means, but it was a lot of life's normal hard all at one time. It started as a normal day one where my child woke my up at 3AM because she didn't feel well and wanted mommy. Then it moved on after I tucked her back in bed where she stayed until 5:30.  It then proceeded to a day where we left the house late and almost didn't make it to work in time for the morning FCA at school.  We did make it though. Then I made it back to my room in time to see real grief.   Some people don't understand what it's like to be a teacher we see a side of students that others don't.  Whether we like them or not they all have a special place in our hearts.  They belonged to us, they remain a part of us.  We are the ones that get to see their true potential buried in there whether we get to bring it out or not.  I got to watch a teacher walk across the hall in tears to ask me if I had heard about the death the night before of a former student of hers.  One that she talks about all the time.  She always reminisces about how cute he was, his smile, and how sweet of a personality he had.  I saw true grief on her face as she tried to come to terms as did many of our students.  I've lost a former student once.  He wasn't even one who I particularly liked.  He gave me such a hard time, but to find out that such youth didn't have a chance broke a little piece of my heart.  That piece that he remained in no matter how I felt about him.  The particular favor a student has with us or doesn't doesn't make us love them any less.  I know that's hard for others to understand. After that all these other issues are mundane, but the straw that broke the camel's back usually is.  I spent about 45 minutes of my planning period making copies this morning, just to get back to my room and realize that I made them incorrectly and therefore didn't have everything I had that day.  And if you work with teenagers you know that they will point out your mistakes to you over and over again all day long.  On the way back to the copy room to copy the one page I messed up so that I could at least teach today I cried.  Not big loud boo-hooing sobs, but silent tears of anger frustration, and melancholy leaked out as I rushed back to the copy room. Later in the day I get paged over the intercom to call the daycare and I knew in my gut what that meant.  I had to go to the other side of campus to flag down my husband so he could go get her.  After a long wait and he dr.s office trip he texted to tell me that she has strep again, poor thing.  After school I had to run around and get plans ready for tomorrow so I could stay home with her while my husband is out of town on a coaches clinic.  Then we had to fight with the pharmacy over the prescription and I had to text the dr. to straighten it all out.  What a day. Sometimes I feel like it's just a normal day in my life, but that's not true.  That's just what you think when you let it get the best of you.  Thinking about these verses that I came across last night is what saved me from my day and brought me to this conclusion about God's providence.  I know this is such a small example, but sometimes we just need him to speak directly to us even in the small ways.  God brought me to this verse last night so that after today I would not lose hope.  So I could rejoice in it and in the sufferings of the day.  I know that my sufferings are nothing compared to those they were talking about in Romans, but I think the intent is still true.  I'm not sure if I can rejoice in this day, but I do know that I can accept it or even be okay with it I know that it's for a purpose, to build my perseverance, my character, and my hope.  This beautiful hope that God has poured into me and that I can testify to the fact that it never disappoints.  I have been through things before and the fact that I have made it here that I have made it back testifies to the power of the hope that he began pouring into me as a child.  HOPE is a beautiful thing.