Today is just one of those days it has sucked from its inception and I am not really thrilled about it right now. In the midst of this day I read Psalms 116 and it resonated with me and I had no idea how it would continue to resonate with me throughout the remainder of my sucky day.
I am already stressed. There has been a great deal going on lately what with the storm and all. If anyone has small children they know what it is like to live with a one and a three year old who's outings have been interrupted for days. We then went to the dr. yesterday and found out that at some point in the future my oldest is probably going to have to have another minor surgery one her ears (the first was inserting her tubes). Well due to the tubes and the chronic ear infections she has a hole in one ear drum that does not seem to be healing by itself. Since she does not seem to be experiencing hearing loss its not a big deal, but even minor surgery is stressful for me as the mom, it will be stressful for Quinn, and it is going to be yet another huge expense.
Then my morning this morning started at 2:56 when I heard Rorey screaming from across the house. It took me until about ten after four to get her back into the bad all by herself. Then I struggled to fall back asleep for maybe about 30 minutes before Quinn came bounding into our room at 5:40 this morning. I am in the middle of a flare up with my arthritis. I have had significant osteoarthritis for about 10 years now. The hypermobility of my joints caused significant early wear and tear on them which led to the arthritis at such a young age. It took me many years, a couple of doctors, and a great deal of tears to get nay answers and some relief from my symptoms. My symptoms just do not seem to be behaving themselves as of late. So along with just being sore and achy this led to me not being able to really go back to sleep.
The straw that really broke the camel's back today was when I tried to leave work and my car wouldn't start. I was desperately to get a new car (well new to me), but no matter how good the deal is that I found our finances just can't make that work right now when we currently have no car payment. So I had to walk out on the middle of the practice football field today to hunt down my husband to get the keys to his car to go pick up my children and take them home only to leave 30 minutes later to go pick him up from practice. I know that I need to be thankful that I work with my husband and we were so easily able to rectify the situation, but right now I am having trouble feeling thankful for much of anything. And I feel bad for my poor husband because I have been in a crappy mood and when that happens I get very sarcastic and I am not very nice. I'm not quite there yet (still a little too angry at the world), but I am going to feel bad for it later, my acting out like a petulant child. The only thing that has kept me form completely losing it today is Psalm 116.
Psalm 116:1-4 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;the heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord; "O Lord, save me!"
Today I feel like I am call out or maybe just acting out and God is the only one who is listening.
No comments:
Post a Comment