Just another Israelite

For so much of my life I have felt like I had to do everything.  My mom was a single mom and she worked very har.  There were so many burdens on my mom I felt like I had to do everything I could not to be another one of those.  I have spent a large part of my life trying to be self sufficient.  This morning I was listening to the song King of the World by Natalie Grant and it spoke deep down to my soul.  The lyrics talk about how could we think God was so small, how do we think that we can do it all.  I realized that I am not better than Israel in the Old Testament.  They never could follow directions and they made God so angry because He loved them and wanted them to be better.  I can't follow directions.  I can't let it go and let God handle it.  While reading the Old Testament (I've made it through Ecclesiastes so far) I just don't understand how the Israelites can let God make it all better and so quickly forget about it and go back to their old ways.  Today I realize I am just like that when times are really bad I start to rely on Him, then things start to settle down and I start to forget and think I can do it all.  Then life smacks me in the face.  Maybe one day I'll learn even though I'm pretty sure the Israelites never did.