Perseverance

It is no secret that I have been struggling in my walk lately and not really sure of what direction to go.   I’ve been feeling some tugging, but not really sure where it has been trying to take me.  Then last week happened and it was terrible.  I spent days just being angry.  So angry that I just wasn’t even sure if I was going to be able to function, but I did.  Then on last Thursday I heard a message designed to speak to the young people in the room, but it is something that I have been chewing on ever since.   She asked the group what is it that God wants others to see when they look at your life?  What about Him can they see if they watch you?  This got me thinking.  What Godly traits is He trying to get me to show other people in my life?  Then it was like He whispered the words PERSERVERANCE in my ear.  The week that I had last week almost broke me at a point in my life where some days I already feel pretty broken.  Perseverance and patience are what HE is giving me in this season and He wants others to see that.  This has been one of those years in teaching that have been a particular challenge for me and have left me feeling defeated more than a few times.  Since my melt down last week, a pretty literal melt down, I felt a peace.  A peace the only God could bring.  My year hasn’t gotten any easier.  The bunch that I have isn’t better behaved or easier to teach.  I don’t care any less about my job or how my students do.  What has changed?  Nothing and everything all at the same time.  I have no more strength to do the things that I was doing weeks ago, but God does.  Today I can rely more fully on Him.  And today no matter how much my children got on my nerves I can let it go.  Today I will show someone how God’s love has allowed me to persevere when I knew that I couldn’t.