Parenting is Hard.

Anyone who has ever been a parent or even ever watched someone parent knows that's true.  Parenting is HARD.  It is no secret that I have been having a hard time lately with my role in motherhood.  This has been a very hard time for me the past couple of weeks or so and I know it is probably not going to ease up for a couple more weeks until we establish our new normal.  This season of motherhood has been such a challenge for me.  My oldest is four and it seems like everything that is four has hit our house full force as of late.  It is coming on the tail end of her not so stellar recovery from her tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy.  I feel like I didn't even get to catch my breath in between and now football season is in full swing.
I've decided that something's got to give and I think it's got to start with me.  I have started reading two different books this week that were recommended to me by different sources and they make me hopeful.  They are Gospel-Centered Mom: The Freeing Truth About What Your Kids Really Need by Brooke McGlothlin and Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.  I have only read the first two chapters in both, but they have made me hopeful.  They both talk in different ways about how today's society gives you such a bleak outlook on parenthood.  Not the everyday moments, but the in generals.  Every time I talk to a parent with children older than mine about the challenges I am facing they tell you to just wait, things get worse.  How disheartening it is to think about parenting always getting worse.  In the first couple of chapters they address very differently what I can do about it, but it all kind of boils down the same.
One of the best things from Gospel-Centered Mom is about how I am not enough, I will never be enough, and that's ok because I was never supposed to be.  God is enough.  I don't have to be enough with Him working through me.  All I have to do is to trust and rely.  The other book talks about focusing on the heart issues because behaviors stem from the heart.  And how hard it is to look at your child's heart and to model the right heart if your heart is not right.  I think that I agree with Brooke.  My life hasn't been the easiest, but I have been able to overcome everything and that has made me feel like I can do it all by myself and that's not what God wants.  God wants me to need Him ALL the time.  He wants me to come to Him with every need.  Trust and rely.
While I have to trust and rely to set the example I need also work on intentionality for me and my girls.  I need to intentionally spend more time alone with God.  And I need to intentionally spend time with my girls and God.  I know that this is only a start, but we have to get our foundation right in order to build on that.  It's all about baby steps.  We will see what the other chapters hold for me, but one of them left me with Psalm 145 for hope.

I will exalt you, my God the King;
    I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you
    and extol your name for ever and ever.

3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
    his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation commends your works to another;
    they tell of your mighty acts.
5 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
    and I will meditate on your wonderful works.[b]
6 They tell of the power of your awesome works—
    and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They celebrate your abundant goodness
    and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

8 The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
    slow to anger and rich in love.

9 The Lord is good to all;
    he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All your works praise you, Lord;
    your faithful people extol you.
11 They tell of the glory of your kingdom
    and speak of your might,
12 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
    and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
    and your dominion endures through all generations.

The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises
    and faithful in all he does.[c]
14 The Lord upholds all who fall
    and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
    and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
    and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways
    and faithful in all he does.
18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord watches over all who love him,
    but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
    Let every creature praise his holy name
    for ever and ever.