God's Timing

Sometimes God puts the right people in the path of your heart at exactly the right time,and sometimes through God's will throes people make all the difference in the world.  And when it's time for them to leave you don't quite know how to feel, even if you know that's selfish.  Even if you know that thus means God has found someone else who needs God to use this person in their life.  But after the past year it's hard not to be a little selfish about it.   I have gone through large portions of my life where I feel like people don't really see me, at least not any of the real stuff.  And large parts of my life where I feel like all the real stuff gets all bottled up inside and I never let it out.  Then God can put the right person in your path and you will feel seen.  Through God that person can reveal your true self to you, just like Jesus did to the Samaritan woman at the well.  Things about yourself you didn't know were there or at least ha ent seen in a long time.  When I write I truly feel and it's like I had forgotten my voice for a lot of years maybe at least in part because I was trying not to feel.  Then God used someone in my life to give me my voice back, to push me (because I can't put myself out there just for me), to with God's help start to put the bandages around my damaged heart. If I'm feeling here I have to admit part of me is afraid.  Afraid of what will happen if the bandages come off too soon, afraid of falling back inside of myself, afraid of falling away from God again, and afraid that I will lose that gentle nudge that God keeps using him as when I'm trying not to hear what God says or when I am afraid to put myself out there.  Who will God send to take that role in my life?  And what if God expects me to do it myself?  I guess right now all I can do is learn as much as I can before god takes away and remember that He wouldn't take him somewhere else if God didn't need to put in the path of someone else's heart.