God knows what I need.

I don't know how many of you know this Natalie Grant song, but I go back to it time and time again mostly I think because I am so hard headed.  I just keep trying to do things all by myself and this week has been a doozy with me trying to do it all myself.

                                                "King Of The World"

I tried to fit you in the walls inside my mind
I try to keep you safely inbetween the lines
I try to put you in the box that I've designed
I try to pull you down so we are eye to eye

(Chorus)
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world
How could I make you so small
When you're the one who holds it all
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world
Just a whisper of your voice can tame the seas
So who am I to try to take the lead
Still I run ahead and think I'm strong enough
When you're the one who made me from the dust
Chorus
Ohhhh, you set it all in motion
Every single moment
You brought it all to be
And you're holding on to me
Chorus

Sometimes when things get hard like this week when football is still chugging along, it is almost Christmas break, I think my beta club has about 6 things going on right now, my one year old is teething had shots this week and then had to be referred to the hospital for some X-rays, three year olds are just crazy, and then there is all the house stuff.  I don't think that I cold articulate all of the things in my head if I tried.  I am a complete crazy lady.  But God knows how to handle it.  This last verse has been particularly poignant with me today.  God set all these moments into motion, but He is holding me in the palm of His hand.  

In bible study for the past two weeks we have been studying Romans 8:26-30
  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

These verses focus on how important it is to focus on having faith and trusting in God.  About how to let go when we trust in God.  This is something that I have always struggled with.  I am an anxious person by nature and that does not make this very easy for me.  After leaving the hospital where my little one was such a trooper while they did her x-rays I finally felt some peace.  I have no idea what the results will be, but I finally felt that peace and then I got to see my girls together.    Anyone who has more than one child knows how siblings are.  Sometimes they make me want to pull out every hair that I have on my head and other times seeing how much they love each other just makes my heart melt.  I grew both of those babies inside me and love them more than I could ever put into words and now they love each other just about as much.  God knew what I needed to find my peace and I firmly believe that.  My children have not been particularly kind to each other as of late but tonight they were precious.  Yes they did annoy each other but mostly they just loved on each other and I needed to see that.