Feeling lost

It's been a while since I've written anything because it's been a while since I've had something to say or knew how to say what I needed to.  For a while now I have felt lost and disconnected.  In the middle of all these beautiful moments that the holidays have brought with my family I have felt there, but not there.  It's a terrible feeling and one I haven't really known how to deal with.  I have just felt isolated felt people and from God.  It's weird because never once have a doubted that God was here.  I knew it and could even see it, but I couldn't feel it.  I don't know what had happened to cause this rift. I know that some of its been on me.  I have not been making the effort to reconnect like I should, I have not been making it a priority.  I have been praying for that connection to come back, but not putting in the work.  Feeling a little at loss for what to do.  God works in beautiful ways.  I didn't put in the work like I should and was just content to wait anxiously not knowing what to do.  Then in a moment it changed.  God used the beautiful words of a child to turn my heart toward Him.  A child singing her heart out to Him, beautiful words sung from the heart.  Hearing her pour out her heart about Jesus and the power of the water was what I needed to hear.  Sitting in that pew a wave of emotions brought tears to my eyes and a swelling in my chest.  I could and can feel God's. Presence in my heart and in my life again.  Then when her beautiful heart felt songs were concluded I got to hear the heartfelt conclusions of our congregation as this year concluded.  Listening to these people, who have quickly become such a big part in my life, confess, praise, and even mourn was beautiful and touching.  Again during that service I felt tears in my eyes.  Feeling God's support so powerfully and the love of that room of people for each other and for the Lord broke down walls in my heart that I don't know how they got erected.  God knows what I need and He has perfect timing.  I don't know what the purpose of all this was,  my isolation, being so lost.  I do know that God has a purpose for all of it and I am very thankful to start the new year feeling connect instead of loss.  I for one am hoping this is a sign of the year to come.